After Another Week

                After another week in Spain, a great many more adventures have ben had.  First, I only had school three days this week, which is happy, though another teacher suggested I be more strict with my 4-year-olds.  I couldn’t tell if she was being serious or sarcastic; this is Spain after all, land of the happy and free, and I, well, I’ve never before been accused of being “not strict enough.”  But, during my next class with them I was more strict and everyone was in disbelief, and there was some semblance of order in my classroom.  Although I found myself becoming more frustrated with them that day; I’m not sure if I’d rather admit that some of my children are Satan, or just have a polite, chaotic class.  The reality is that I can’t force these kids to learn and it is a huge energy drain to keep certain kiddos in their seats when I could be devoting that attention to actually trying to teach something.  This, of course, is all aside from the fact that I was hired to be an assistant teacher and somehow ended up teaching toddlers with no given curriculum in a classroom by myself.  But my principal and program director (if that’s what you call her) are very responsive, and I’m looking forward to our meeting Monday afternoon to add some structure to my classes with little kids.  I’m doing great with the 3^rd and 4^th graders.  They are picking up material at a measurable rate, and I’m able to at least communicate with them on some level.  I never babysat; I’m the youngest child.  I’ve changed exactly one diaper ever in my life.  Little ones are very foreign to me, and that, of course seems to be where all my time is spent.  But it’s great practice for life’s future endeavors, so I’m trying to learn all I can.

                This weekend has been better than the previous ones.  I’m actually getting out, which is very important.  My basic life philosophy is that happiness is directly correlated to the amount of time a person spends outside.  But outside in the city streets is really only half outside in my opinion, what with building shade, canopies, and noise, noise, noise.  But it sure beats a lonely apartment.  I had a couple dates this week—the first was awesome until it took a violent nose-dive at the end.  The second was really much better than expected and we’ll be going out again I’m sure, even though he lives in Seville which is an hour away from me.  Today, I went into the woods. I started out with the intention to follow a few different grave roads in a loop, but that was very hot and very boring (again, I need to stop going out at 2 pm.)  On my way back home (I turned around before I came to the second road) I discovered a footpath that led the direction of town.  I climbed it.  And climbed.  I found myself in serene forests and rocky hills with amazing views.  My new favorite spot is quite close to town, just enough to hear donkeys and chickens.  My hike was about 3 hours total, though I wrote for part of it and rested as well; I got dizzy and nauseous towards the end from eating too little, working too hard, and drinking too much too fast. 

                I have school again before too long and I am dreading it.  I don’t like the idea of dreading going to work.  If I don’t like a job, I quit.  But I need to give this job more time to find my niche, and I’m probably just dreading having to waking up before noon or something.  I’m actually mostly sure that most of my distaste for tomorrow involves waking up and getting ready.  I only own four “school” outfits and my curling iron broke.  I feel very plain.

                It’s probably also worth mentioning that dirtbikes and horses can be found around the streets of Montellano, and in the hills.  As I was coming back to my house, I passed a few bikers and realized everyone I’ve seen has been a guy.  I suddenly realized that I can get away with not wearing heels everywhere (I know how ironic this is since I wore heels EVERYWHERE in the US.  I just need to buy some here,) but I’m not sure I can get away with wandering into the woods at leisure.  I feel more and more like Katniss as I now take a pack with me, and I’m feeling half-ashamed that I care somewhat about whether or not I’m considered ladylike.  I’m working on finding out what is socially appropriate here.  I like the dresses and heels all Spanish women seem to wear, and I wear dresses/skirts every day, but my knees will always be scraped or bruised, and I’ll pass on sitting for coffee; I’d rather be on a horse or dirtbike.  In heels.